I've lived in Alaska for 20 years now and have noticed a strange social norm. I was oblivious to it prior to my divorce but since then it has been clear as glass. There is a popular saying up here; "You don't get married, you just wait your turn." I could never quite grasp the meaning of this until this summer.
Since I have been up here for quite some time now, and since I interact with the public often, I just happen to know alot of local people and their personal circumstances. I've heard stories of couples who are friends divorcing and marrying each other's ex-spouses and thought that was ridiculous! It sounded so far removed from reality that I would dismiss these stories as fiction with a skepical shake of my head.
It became a reality when a two couples that I am familiar with decided to play bedroom roulette this Spring.
Both couples had divorced and one man hooked up with the other's ex-wife while the other man hooked up with an old girlfriend of the first man! It can get very confusing if you cannot follow the sequence of events. It seems that alot of people in Alaska are "serial monogamists" just waiting for the next partner to fall into their circle of love/relationship addiction.
I certainly do not see the logic in this whatsoever! I am confused and befuddled to say the least. I guess the men in Alaska have come to expect this societal norm and seem okay with the status quo? Maybe they see women as so scarce that they will settle for whomever they can get for any length of time and be satisfied with that? Makes me wonder if I should follow suit with my seasoned sisters and enter the game of bedroom roulette. Sure beats being alone and lonely! My dilemma: Do I join so I can be with someone or do I stay in my ivory tower and watch from above; longing for what they have temporarily?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Only in Alaska during Summer
I work in a dental office in downtown Kenai, Alaska. That may not sound like much but it can get lively here during the summer months.
Within the past few weeks we've had a series of events that both shock and surprise our staff and believe me, it takes alot to make us really run to the window and take a gander! We are all Alaskan women and have seen it all, dealt with it all, and certainly have gotten a little jaded as a result.
One afternoon, a patient walked into our clinic and stated that there was a woman lying in the street just down the block from us. Immediately, all the assistants rushed to the back window to verify the truth of the matter. I was sitting at my desk ignoring the situation (see the above reference for Alaskan women). My coworkers were excitedly announcing the blow-by-blow action. I could tell the situation had escalated rapidly when one of my coworkers yelled, "Call 911 NOW!" Of course, I was on the phone before she finished "911." I was speaking with the dispatcher and repeating what was being observed. Before I ended my call with the dispatcher, there were four patrol cars on the scene. Apparently, the parties involved were trying to reconcile when the officers decided to take her to jail for domestic violence.
According to my coworkers, she was using the man as if he were the heavy bag in the boxing gym! He just stood there and took the fist pounding she was meting out! She drove her point home with a final kick between his legs. Low blow but very effective!
As she was being helped into the squad car, she adjusted her neon pink baseball cap and stepped very lady-like into the back seat. The man was instructed to leave but seemed reluctant to do so. His ladylove was being hauled away to the clink and he wanted to go along. Separation anxiety, love/hate thing, absence makes the heart grow fonder seemed to be the theme and it came into play as quickly as the breeze. Alcohol definitely was a factor!
Later in the same week, one of my coworkers came into work for her shift and announced that there was a half-naked man wandering down the street! She said he was wearing a bright green sweatshirt and no pants! Of course, all the ladies zoomed to get a glimpse from the security of the back window. Needless to say, the so-called half-naked and certainly half-baked individual had disappeared into the treeline or at least into the apartments across the street. That defines an Alaskan Streaker!
Later that afternoon, our streaker was seen pushing his bicycle from the apartments across the street, sporting trousers and what appeared to be shoes? Upon further inspection, the "shoes" were actually mittens! We all watched incredulously as he gingerly pedalled away, fully clothed and shod, down the street and out of our neck of the woods!
Last, but not least, we got the scare of our lives here at the clinic. It was a hot day; almost 70 degrees outside so we had all the doors and windows open to ventilate and cool the building. The fresh air was welcome and the gentle cross breeze was refreshing. It made it okay to be inside working and gave a glimpse of how wonderful the day was.
I was sitting at my desk working peacefully when there was what sounded like a round of rapid gunfire coming from behind the building! I ducked behind my desk and one of my doctors had rushed up the stairs and closed the back door. I saw smoke wafting on the breeze from behind the door. When I felt it was safe to look, I opened the backdoor and cautiously peered outside.
Apparently, someone beyond the fence had accidentally or purposefully lit off a set of firecrackers within the city limits! Highly illegal and it really sounded like a machine gun! Everyone was curious but I explained the incident and we got to go on with the day with peace of mind.
Only in small town Alaska!
Within the past few weeks we've had a series of events that both shock and surprise our staff and believe me, it takes alot to make us really run to the window and take a gander! We are all Alaskan women and have seen it all, dealt with it all, and certainly have gotten a little jaded as a result.
One afternoon, a patient walked into our clinic and stated that there was a woman lying in the street just down the block from us. Immediately, all the assistants rushed to the back window to verify the truth of the matter. I was sitting at my desk ignoring the situation (see the above reference for Alaskan women). My coworkers were excitedly announcing the blow-by-blow action. I could tell the situation had escalated rapidly when one of my coworkers yelled, "Call 911 NOW!" Of course, I was on the phone before she finished "911." I was speaking with the dispatcher and repeating what was being observed. Before I ended my call with the dispatcher, there were four patrol cars on the scene. Apparently, the parties involved were trying to reconcile when the officers decided to take her to jail for domestic violence.
According to my coworkers, she was using the man as if he were the heavy bag in the boxing gym! He just stood there and took the fist pounding she was meting out! She drove her point home with a final kick between his legs. Low blow but very effective!
As she was being helped into the squad car, she adjusted her neon pink baseball cap and stepped very lady-like into the back seat. The man was instructed to leave but seemed reluctant to do so. His ladylove was being hauled away to the clink and he wanted to go along. Separation anxiety, love/hate thing, absence makes the heart grow fonder seemed to be the theme and it came into play as quickly as the breeze. Alcohol definitely was a factor!
Later in the same week, one of my coworkers came into work for her shift and announced that there was a half-naked man wandering down the street! She said he was wearing a bright green sweatshirt and no pants! Of course, all the ladies zoomed to get a glimpse from the security of the back window. Needless to say, the so-called half-naked and certainly half-baked individual had disappeared into the treeline or at least into the apartments across the street. That defines an Alaskan Streaker!
Later that afternoon, our streaker was seen pushing his bicycle from the apartments across the street, sporting trousers and what appeared to be shoes? Upon further inspection, the "shoes" were actually mittens! We all watched incredulously as he gingerly pedalled away, fully clothed and shod, down the street and out of our neck of the woods!
Last, but not least, we got the scare of our lives here at the clinic. It was a hot day; almost 70 degrees outside so we had all the doors and windows open to ventilate and cool the building. The fresh air was welcome and the gentle cross breeze was refreshing. It made it okay to be inside working and gave a glimpse of how wonderful the day was.
I was sitting at my desk working peacefully when there was what sounded like a round of rapid gunfire coming from behind the building! I ducked behind my desk and one of my doctors had rushed up the stairs and closed the back door. I saw smoke wafting on the breeze from behind the door. When I felt it was safe to look, I opened the backdoor and cautiously peered outside.
Apparently, someone beyond the fence had accidentally or purposefully lit off a set of firecrackers within the city limits! Highly illegal and it really sounded like a machine gun! Everyone was curious but I explained the incident and we got to go on with the day with peace of mind.
Only in small town Alaska!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Why I love my coworkers
I manage a dental office where I live. I get to work with the most wonderful ladies. One in particular has opened my eyes to what unconditional love really means. I've always teased her about being a baby magnet because she sniffs them out if they get within range. Patients will bring in their newborns and within minutes, there Mel is, cooing and touching the infant. All babies respond to her. She is the ultimate nanny/mommy. She's really bested herself with this last random act of kindness.
We all know a young mother who just gave birth to a darling little boy about four months ago. Seems she ran into some trouble with her room mate, who took out a restraining order on her, kicked her and her newborn out of the apartment, and accused her of domestic violence. Now, we all do not know this girl well enough to hypothesize about the accusations but she and her infant are now homeless, living in their car. A few weeks went by and this young mother paid us a visit. She had gotten a new girlfriend and they were both homeless with five children between the two of them. She had mentioned how well her son sleeps at night since he slept right through a fight and a window getting broken! I was shocked but not too surprised at hearing this. Babies have no choice on who they are born to and some women are better mothers than others. Sadly to say, the children are the innocent victims. Clearly, this young girl was not prepared to be a mother. She tangled with a man, got pregnant, decided to have the baby and raise it by herself. Very brave but very naive of her. Obviously, reality did not set in until the State of Alaska is now actively in process of removing her infant from her custody.
This young girl, approached my coworker last week requesting that she temporarily physically take the baby. She did not want to lose her son and was reaching out for help. I believe she has been doing so since she gave birth; knowing that maybe she made a mistake by keeping the baby. Any mother can tell that this young woman loves her son. My coworker gladly offered to help this young woman and agreed to take care of the infant temporarily. One of my male coworkers warned Mel that she was making a mistake by doing so. I believe that things done with good intentions and a warm heart are never wrong. This is admirable and noble of Mel to offer this. Sure, she may run the risk of getting too attached to this child, of giving love and attention to this child, of taking care of this child's needs but this is true, unconditional love. This is a helpless child and she is giving him succor and comfort that his biological mother cannot give right now. She knows full well that his mother could do scandalous and unscrupulous things regarding the situation but her heart is pure and her concern is for the well-being of this little boy.
This is why I love my coworkers. We are all in the healthcare field and we are nurturers. We are the ones who make people feel better through tender, loving care. We are all on the spectrum to various degrees. Even as bristly and stern as I am, I still have a huge capacity for compassion when it comes to human suffering. Unconditional love. I recommend it to everyone. Perform random acts of kindness. It is truly rewarding and soothes the soul.
We all know a young mother who just gave birth to a darling little boy about four months ago. Seems she ran into some trouble with her room mate, who took out a restraining order on her, kicked her and her newborn out of the apartment, and accused her of domestic violence. Now, we all do not know this girl well enough to hypothesize about the accusations but she and her infant are now homeless, living in their car. A few weeks went by and this young mother paid us a visit. She had gotten a new girlfriend and they were both homeless with five children between the two of them. She had mentioned how well her son sleeps at night since he slept right through a fight and a window getting broken! I was shocked but not too surprised at hearing this. Babies have no choice on who they are born to and some women are better mothers than others. Sadly to say, the children are the innocent victims. Clearly, this young girl was not prepared to be a mother. She tangled with a man, got pregnant, decided to have the baby and raise it by herself. Very brave but very naive of her. Obviously, reality did not set in until the State of Alaska is now actively in process of removing her infant from her custody.
This young girl, approached my coworker last week requesting that she temporarily physically take the baby. She did not want to lose her son and was reaching out for help. I believe she has been doing so since she gave birth; knowing that maybe she made a mistake by keeping the baby. Any mother can tell that this young woman loves her son. My coworker gladly offered to help this young woman and agreed to take care of the infant temporarily. One of my male coworkers warned Mel that she was making a mistake by doing so. I believe that things done with good intentions and a warm heart are never wrong. This is admirable and noble of Mel to offer this. Sure, she may run the risk of getting too attached to this child, of giving love and attention to this child, of taking care of this child's needs but this is true, unconditional love. This is a helpless child and she is giving him succor and comfort that his biological mother cannot give right now. She knows full well that his mother could do scandalous and unscrupulous things regarding the situation but her heart is pure and her concern is for the well-being of this little boy.
This is why I love my coworkers. We are all in the healthcare field and we are nurturers. We are the ones who make people feel better through tender, loving care. We are all on the spectrum to various degrees. Even as bristly and stern as I am, I still have a huge capacity for compassion when it comes to human suffering. Unconditional love. I recommend it to everyone. Perform random acts of kindness. It is truly rewarding and soothes the soul.
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